Balancing Support

Throughout their development, kids need support – emotional support, relational support, physical support, spiritual support, and academic support.  As you study your daughter/son, you will identify areas where she/he will need more support in certain areas than in others.  The objective to wrestle with is identifying how much support to give.  It’s important to offer enough support, but not to hinder their development by offering too much support.  

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Balancing Boundaries and Freedom

This most often shows up in our attempts to set healthy boundaries while also supporting our kids’ independence and allowing them to have freedom.  We speak to this throughout the Intentional Parenting book in our conversations about the importance of allowing kids to struggle.  Tim Kimmel calls them “designed dilemmas,” and the folks at Love and Logic call them SLO’s (Significant Learning Opportunities).  They are simply moments where we avoid jumping in and rescuing, and allowing our kids to learn through their decisions (good and bad).  These moments are always about developing character, and strengthening resilience.  

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Balancing Discipline and Relationship

One of the ways that we steward and protect our kids is with discipline.  We are asked about discipline in our offices on a daily basis, and about every time we speak on parenting.  The topic of discipline generates a plethora of questions, a range of emotions, and a variety of opinions.  We often get stuck on the mechanics of disciplining kids and lose the purpose of discipline.  The Message translates Proverbs 13:24 this way, “A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;  love your children by disciplining them.” 

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