Letting Go

As I write this, I’m seated at a corner table in a little coffee house.  Our city is home to a number of colleges and universities.  This coffeehouse sits squarely between two of the largest universities in our city.  It’s a mid-August morning and the place is filled with parents and college freshman, here for drop off weekend.  Families have traveled from all across the country, vehicles packed to capacity carrying clothes, comforters, microwaves, lamps and other various items designed to fill their young student’s dorm.  

I have a moment of remembering back to my own move-in-to-the-dorm weekend, but my mind is soon hijacked with thoughts of dropping off my own first born...

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Technology Tuesday: App Alert - The Companion App

A New App for College Kids…or anyone who might need someone to walk them home

Over the past month, I’ve seen countless photos on social media of friends dropping their college freshmen off—in cities faraway surrounded by people they hardly know.  I am sure every parent drives off those campuses filled to the brim with lots of hope, and more than a little fear. 

College students are still finishing out their adolescence.  They are still entrenched in what psychologists refer to as a “personal fable.”  You remember it.  That will never happen to me.  Other kids have car accidents when they drive too fast.  Other kids on other campuses have things slipped in their drinks, but it wouldn’t happen to me.  Nothing will happen if I…It’s no big deal...

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You're In New York! A word for college goers...

We’re excited for you to meet Mallory Horncastle:  fantastic Daystar Summer Intern at Hopetown, dear friend, budding musician, and writer extraordinaire.  We read her blog on life at college—and wanted you to read it and share it with the college and college-bound students you know.  It’s a great reminder for all of us of what it looks like to live pressure-free and grace-filled.  Thanks for the wisdom, Mallory.  We’d like to do NYC your way!

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Failure to Launch/Boomerang Kids: Part 1

Why are so many kids moving back home and can’t seem to navigate college life?  What can we be doing along the way to prepare kids to succeed once they move out of the house?

“Can anyone guess the age most developmental theorists agree adolescence ends for a male?”  

I pose this question in a parenting class I teach on Understanding Boys.   I break boy development into five stages and walk parents through the developmental shifts boys experience as they transition from boyhood to adult manhood. I’ve never asked the question that at least someone didn’t yell out “forty-five!”  The room erupts into laughter as we all envision some adult male we know who acts like an adolescent boy.  I respond that it’s earlier than forty-five but likely later than imagined.  Most theorists agree adolescence ends for a girl somewhere around 19-20.  For boys it’s years later - somewhere around 22-24.  Our current generation may cause us to adjust those numbers even more in the coming years.  

Approximately 18 million young adults ages 18-34 now live at home, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.  This is a 42% increase since 1970.  Understanding these numbers has become more a part of our national conversation in recent years.  We are working to explain the “Failure to Launch” phenomena, to prevent “boomerang” kids, and to better assess the needs of these “emerging adults.”  

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