ANNOUNCING SEASON 2 OF OUR PODCAST ON MONDAY, APRIL 22ND! Check back on our site or wherever you download podcasts to get our latest season of what used to be called Are My Kids on Track but is now Raising Boys and Girls. You can also head over to our website for downloadable discussion questions and a discussion guide.
One of our very favorite things in the past year is being out on the road at your churches and schools and hearing that you’ve downloaded the Are My Kids on Track podcast… Read More
Nothing seems to work as far as consequences for my kids. Help!
Consequences with girls are tricky. First of all, girls are manipulative. Second, they’re smart. And third, they’re manipulative. They’ll find any way to beat the system, if they can…especially girls that are later in the birth order. When it comes to consequences, I believe the three most important ideas are... Read More
How do I help my daughter find balance?
Psychologist Leonard Sax says, “More and more boys are developing an epicurean ability to enjoy themselves—to enjoy video games, pornography, food and sleep—but they often don’t have the drive and motivation to succeed in the real world… outside their bedroom. More and more of their sisters have that drive and motivation in abundance—but they don’t know how to relax, have fun and enjoy life.”1
Girls feel a tremendous amount of pressure. They feel pressure to make good grades, to make good friends, to appear kind, and fun and strong and independent and responsible and brave, and pretty…all at the same time. And, what I hear in my office… Read More
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” If you’ve seen the movie or read the book The Help, you know these words. You also know the moving scene when they’re spoken. If you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Kathryn Stockett’s heartwarming characters, let me introduce you. The scene takes place in adorable two-year-old Mae Mobley’s bedroom with Aibileen, her beloved housekeeper. Aibileen walks into the room, smile wide and arms outstretched. She takes Mae Mobley into her arms, holds her close, and repeats these words with her: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” They’re words that are foundational. They speak the truth into Mae Mobley’s life of who she is, how God made her, and how… Read More
Suicide has become an increasingly popular topic in our counseling offices. More kids than ever are talking about it, in one way or another. Tragically, exponentially more kids are talking about ending their lives. Many of these kids are genuinely contemplating suicide as an option. And, as always, if you ever hear your child mention it or seen any reference your child has written about suicide, in person or on social media, our recommendation is always the same: take them directly to the hospital… Read More
“Let me check my map to see where she is.”
Last night, I sat with a group of high school girls while we were waiting for others to show up. One of the girls pulled out her phone, touched her “Find My Friends” app, and all of a sudden, the photos of several of her closest people showed up, all around town… Read More
For this Technology Tuesday, we’re wanting to let you in on where we’re heading these days with Raising Boys and Girls' technology! You may have noticed that we’re purposefully trying not to flood your inbox with emails. But, we’re also trying to put out as much helpful information as we can on social media these days. We put up activities we think might help you and your kiddos, quotes we think might inspire you, and try to lighten… Read More
I have the honor of knowing a woman who has been battling stage 4 cancer for several years. She is remarkable. She fights beautifully…not just fights this stupid cancer, but fights for her children in a culture that too often fights against them. She fights for her faith in a way that inspires me to do the same. And, in the midst of tremendous struggle and heartache, she fights to maintain the sort of gritty, buoyant, dogged hope that epitomizes who she is. I want to be more like her. And can’t say enough what a privilege it is to… Read More
I (David) worked with a fifteen year old boy who was an Olympic Gold Medalist in Manipulation. He had a 4.3 GPA, was a gifted golfer, and played guitar on the side. School wasn’t the only place this talented, bright young man would flex his well-developed cognitive muscle; he accessed his expansive vocabulary by throwing verbal daggers at family members when he didn’t get his way. As is often the case with teenagers, mothers can become the target of choice.
I coached his mom on the art of disengagement. We discussed how staying in the argument would never yield a desirable outcome… Read More
Whenever we speak about technology to parents, we stress the importance of taking Technology Sabbaths... If we’re going to teach the kids we love to unplug, we need to do so, as well. We have families at Daystar who are taking technology-free spring breaks…or even a day or two technology-free on their spring breaks. We also have parents who purposely go on trips where WiFi isn’t available or doesn’t work so well…might just be a thought for future family trips!
I was with a group of high school girls this week talking about their spring breaks, and the subject of social media came up. They quickly started talking about how hard it can be, seeing all the photos of friends in glamorous locations, often together, and looking perfectly... Read More
Let’s talk about tennis. I (Sissy) am not sure if you’ve ever played. I have quite a bit. Not well, but quite a bit. I spent lots of hours and lots of my parents’ well-earned money growing up in tennis lessons. Somehow, my ball always seemed to end up in the next court over rather than my own. But I played enough to learn the basics. And the basics of tennis are the primary analogy I use in my office to teach girls about reciprocity.
If you’ve never played, let me fill you in. I (try to) serve the ball to you. You see my ball and hit it back to me. I see the ball and (hopefully) hit it back to you. And so on and so forth. That’s what tennis lessons will get you. It’s... Read More
“Honey, why are you sitting under the dining room table eating an entire cake?” a mom told me she had to ask her five year-old daughter in the middle of the night. “Satan woke me up and told me to come eat it, Mommy!”
All children experiment at some point with lying. Don’t worry, when yours does. She needs firm, consistent boundaries, no matter how cute she is or entertaining her lies are, like the girl in the previous story. She needs consequences every time... Read More
A CBS News article today said there have been at least 11 school shootings in the U.S. since January 1. And the one that happened yesterday was very close to our community here at Daystar, with our camp being an hour or so away, and Melissa having her first youth director job at Calvert City, Kentucky. With at least 11 this month only, the likelihood is that one has been close to your community, as well.
What do we do? How do we love and protect the kids we love so dearly? What do we say, in light of such tragedy, especially tragedy that was perpetrated by someone close to their age... Read More
We recently spoke in Mobile, AL, for our third time at the yearly Parent Summit held at Spring Hill Baptist Church. Over the years, we’ve developed some sweet friendships with the church staff and members. Our friend, Erica Holloway, the children’s minister, wrote these words to introduce the Are My Kids On Track conference. They made us laugh and tear up as we thought about all of you. We wanted to share them with you to remind you that we get it. There is SO much on a daily basis... Read More
Have you seen this video? We would sure encourage you to take a look.
I’ve had lots of girls over the years say things like, “If my mom hates the way she looks so much I can’t imagine what she thinks about me..." Read More
In case you’re looking for a few more gifts for the little (or big) people in your life, these are a few of our favorites…and some by a few of our friends... Read More
I am surprised every year as I talk to children of all ages around the holidays about how they do and don’t experience Christmas... I’m surprised about the entitlement that has swept through the culture of children today. But I’m not surprised about how the two correlate.
First of all, we believe it is very important for your family to be about giving this season. We think it is a fantastic opportunity for kids to be a part of what Christmas looks like walked out… Read More
Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at Raising Boys and Girls!! Today, in honor of Thanksgiving, we wanted to share an excerpt on gratitude, from one of our books, Modern Parents, Vintage Values..., written by Melissa & Sissy.
What It Looks Like
In Mark 10:13-16, Jesus calls a child up to him from the crowd. He calls and the child comes. In other words, the child responds. But, first, he must have seen and heard Jesus... Read More
“I saw a guy drop his Juul the other day. The teacher picked it up and handed it back to him, thinking it was a flash drive.”
One of the high school students in a group counseling session told us this story just last week. And then every one of them went on to talk about the kids in their classes who were bringing their Juuls to school and using them in class... Read More
Are you doing your best to keep up with your kids’ texts, but only able to understand a word or two inserted in between cryptic emojis? Welcome to the world of teenagers today. They use Acronyms and Emojis to communicate more than words these days. And, as typically happens, we’re often behind the 🎱
So, I sat with some teenage girls recently to decode their codes. I asked them about the slang words they’re using lately, the acronyms, and the emojis. Buckle up for their answers… Read More