How Do I Talk to my Daughter About Sex and Masturbation?

For many girls, there is a sense of shame bound up in being a woman. As a mother, you may be lost for how to talk to her about it.

Girls don’t want you to tell them about what’s changing about their bodies. They don’t want you to talk about sex. They become awkward, walk away, and even resort to toddler tactics like plugging their ears and humming loudly.

We could talk at length about the origins of shame for girls. In the Fall, a significant part of Satan’s curse attacked our identities as women: “Then he said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you’” (Genesis 3:16).

Media has, historically, valued women consistently and primarily for their appearance and sex appeal. And it’s only gotten worse.

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Q&A: The Birds and the Bees Talk

Q and A:  We are often asked by parents . . . when should I have the Birds & Bees conversation with my kids?  Here are some thoughts to consider and some resources to check out. 

How to Talk to your Kids about Sex

When my (David) daughter was six and her twin brothers were four, I took them to the hospital to see a friend’s new baby. On the drive, I retold all three of my children the stories of their own births. I should have predicted what I was getting myself into. 

From the back of the car, my little girl asked, “How did the doctor get me out of Mommy’s tummy?” I responded with, “Well, that’s a great question.” (What I was actually thinking was, Where is your mom right now? I had no intention of educating our children on the nature of labor and delivery by myself)...READ MORE

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