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Welcome to RaisingBoysandGirls.com

We'd like to introduce ourselves to you. Our names are Melissa Trevathan, Sissy Goff and David Thomas. We're counselors in Nashville, Tennessee with a combined 75+ years of counseling kids and families. We work at a place called Daystar Counseling Ministries, or, as one boy called it, The Little Yellow House that Helps People. There, along with a staff of thirteen friends who are also co-workers and four very talented pet therapists, we currently counsel 1300 children, teens and families. Out of our work at Daystar, we have had the tremendous opportunity to write several books and offer seminars for parents and educators across the country. We are honored every day to speak into the lives of children, teens and parents at Daystar, as well as other communities. And we are grateful you found your way to our website. 

We hope these pages will be an opportunity for us to get to come alongside you in your parenting. We want to reach beyond the walls of our counseling offices at Daystar and into your homes...to encourage you, to laugh with you, to share with you what we feel is going on in the hearts of children, teens, and parents, and mostly, to bring you hope in your journey. We are grateful for who you are and how you love the children whose lives you touch. 

*Raising Boys and Girls intends for the blog to provide general and educational information to support parents and educators in caring for the kids in their lives. The content is not intended to be a substitute for consulting with your child's pediatrician, teacher or counselor. In order to be HIPPA compliant, we cannot answer counseling related questions on this site. You may contact our office if you are interested in setting up a parent consultation, and feel that it would be helpful.


Blog

Raising Awareness is a double-edged sword.  In other words, it cuts both ways…which feels particularly poignant in the awareness the new Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, has raised since its release in March.  

You’ve probably heard of it recently.  Schools are sending out emails about it.  Churches are talking about it.  And teenagers are DEFINITELY talking about it.  In fact, every teenager I’ve asked about it in the last week has used the same words, “Its’ the show everyone is talking about all of the time.”  And I honestly don’t believe that’s teenage hyperbole...

So, here’s the thing.  I know everybody is talking about 13 Reasons Why.  I get it.  It’s compelling.  It feels a lot like your life these days.  You’re glad somebody’s talking about what’s going on at school.  You want the adults in your life to understand how hard it is to be a teenager today.  I really do get it.  It’s so much harder than when we were growing up.  I sit with teenagers every day and hear what’s going on in their lives:  the real-life bullying, depression, self-harm…all of the things this show is trying to bring to light.  I’m a counselor, and have been for 24 years.

Here’s the other thing that I’ll tell you, from a counseling perspective.  It’s not just bringing things to light...

Responding with empathy is more naturally instinctive for some individuals than others.  Just as one child might be stronger in math and another in spelling, we all bend in certain directions.   Some of us are more extroverted, some of us more introverted.   Some more analytical, some more creative.   We could circle around the nature vs. nurture argument for days, months or years. Bottom line - both are contributing factors.  

Some individuals more naturally think of others, and some more naturally think of themselves.   During adolescence, we all spend more time thinking about ourselves.   Sadly, some adults never move beyond that tendency...

Parenting is a challenging, delightful, heart-wrenching journey that can feel profoundly overwhelming and lonely at times. Parents need guides who understand the world of their children. We are happy to come along side you in this journey.

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