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Welcome to RaisingBoysandGirls.com

We'd like to introduce ourselves to you. Our names are Melissa Trevathan, Sissy Goff and David Thomas. We're counselors in Nashville, Tennessee with a combined 75+ years of counseling kids and families. We work at a place called Daystar Counseling Ministries, or, as one boy called it, The Little Yellow House that Helps People. There, along with a staff of thirteen friends who are also co-workers and four very talented pet therapists, we currently counsel 1300 children, teens and families. Out of our work at Daystar, we have had the tremendous opportunity to write several books and offer seminars for parents and educators across the country. We are honored every day to speak into the lives of children, teens and parents at Daystar, as well as other communities. And we are grateful you found your way to our website. 

We hope these pages will be an opportunity for us to get to come alongside you in your parenting. We want to reach beyond the walls of our counseling offices at Daystar and into your homes...to encourage you, to laugh with you, to share with you what we feel is going on in the hearts of children, teens, and parents, and mostly, to bring you hope in your journey. We are grateful for who you are and how you love the children whose lives you touch. 

*Raising Boys and Girls intends for the blog to provide general and educational information to support parents and educators in caring for the kids in their lives. The content is not intended to be a substitute for consulting with your child's pediatrician, teacher or counselor. In order to be HIPPA compliant, we cannot answer counseling related questions on this site. You may contact our office if you are interested in setting up a parent consultation, and feel that it would be helpful.


Blog

Responding with empathy is more naturally instinctive for some individuals than others.  Just as one child might be stronger in math and another in spelling, we all bend in certain directions.   Some of us are more extroverted, some of us more introverted.   Some more analytical, some more creative.   We could circle around the nature vs. nurture argument for days, months or years. Bottom line - both are contributing factors.  

Some individuals more naturally think of others, and some more naturally think of themselves.   During adolescence, we all spend more time thinking about ourselves.   Sadly, some adults never move beyond that tendency...

“I walked out of my bathroom yesterday, wrapped in a towel, only to hear my ten year-old yell, ‘I’m going live!’”.

“Going live” is now evidently the thing.  This ten year-old was “going live” on Musical.ly, only to show her latest “slime” to her five followers, including grandparents and an aunt.  “Going live” basically means live-streaming a video of you—doing whatever you want to do.  People who follow you can click to watch and comment, unless you turn off the commenting feature.  (And slime, by the way, is exactly what it sounds like).  Facebook has a live component, as well as Instagram.  In fact, TeenVogue recently did an article called “6 Tips for Instagram Live.”  The article went on to say...

It’s vital for boys to understand males often experience emotions with physicality attached to them.   It’s why boys are prone to screaming, hitting, punching, balling up their fists or gritting their teeth.  I’ve worked with boys who even growl like an animal when the emotion erupts inside of them.   When a boy can channel the physicality of the emotion into something useful, he can offset the possibility of hurting others (or himself).   We will explore more of this in chapter four with the milestone of Resourcefulness.

In a non-problematic time, I have boys make a list of five things they could do outside and inside involving movement of some kind.  It’s not that listening to music, reading or playing on the iPad isn’t useful...

Parenting is a challenging, delightful, heart-wrenching journey that can feel profoundly overwhelming and lonely at times. Parents need guides who understand the world of their children. We are happy to come along side you in this journey.

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